It wasn’t you, it was them. Maybe they thought you should see other people. Or they just really needed some space.
This shouldn’t come as a surprise for most of us: dating sucks. And dealing with a breakup quite possibly sucks even more. Tack on the fact that you live in a bubble also known as a college campus, and the level of “sucks” keeps rising.
Time heals all wounds. (Or something like that.) But, until the sadness/hurt/impulsive desire for revenge wears off, you’ll probably have to coexist with your ex at least for a short time. If you’re one of the few who can ghost them completely, consider yourself lucky. For the rest of us — I’ll leave you with a few tips.
Out of sight, out of mind. If you’ve dated, you should know your ex’s basic routine pretty well. Use it to your advantage. I’m not saying you should run the other way if you spot each other across the dining hall, but it doesn’t hurt to find a different route to class or a new coffee shop to hang out in. Unless you happen to unfortunately share a class, in which case, it might be time to find a new seat.
Keep things short and sweet.
No one can always jump right into a happy friendship with their ex, so keep your distance when you can for a while. When you can’t, you’re just going to have the make the best of it. Don’t fight, don’t create meaningless drama, and don’t drag other people into it. If you see each other, say “hi,” be cordial (yes, even if they don’t deserve it), and move on.
Lean on your friends.
Appreciate the people who support you. Surround yourself with them. And no matter how adamant you are about mutual friends not taking sides, some of them will. It’s human nature.
Let yourself wallow.
No matter which side of the breakup you were on, ending a relationship is tough for everyone involved. If you need to feel sad or angry, do it. Let yourself wallow, but not for too long. Then get over it. (Sorry to go all “tough love” here, but it’s for your own good, I promise.)
Focus on yourself.
When you take care of yourself, you’ll feel better — even if it’s something as simple as pampering yourself with a mani/pedi or going out with friends. Make an effort to meet new people, do something you’ve always wanted to do, and take this time to be good to yourself.
Leave the games in high school.
Trying to bring attention to yourself or make your ex jealous is just a waste of time. Don’t bother playing games — be mature, and play fair. That’s it.
And if your ex finds their next…
Don’t hate their new boyfriend or girlfriend (or at least save your rants about them for group chats with friends). (Pretend, if you must, to) be happy for them. If you run into the happy couple, the same rule as before applies: smile, say “hi,” be brief but polite. And then continue on your way.