15 Signs You Have a Retail Job
Ah, retail. Up there with fast-food work, retail is one of the young-adult career classics. Getting you out into the world of sore feet and sales, these jobs prepare you for the best and worst that adulthood has to offer.
Tell-Tale Signs You Work in a Retail Store
1. You could sell a garbage bag to a runway model and get them to wear it as a dress.
2. You've heard the same 15 pop-funk Christmas songs so many times that you've even memorized the drum patterns. And you hate every beat.
3. The sound of an alarm going off doesn't scare you. It just makes you hate today's cashier a little bit more (please, PLEASE check the hemline Stacy).
4. You've learned how to do the bare minimum for a rude customer without your manager ever hearing about it.
5. On that same note - you've learned how to bend the rules just enough to help out that one customer who always treats you right.
6. Understaffed teacher-work days are one of the many reasons you now hate 16 year olds.
7. You have one good work friend... and you never work the same shift.
8. You have invested in at least one pair of good insoles (or at least dreamt about it).
9. There's one customer who has 74 returns every week... and you're pretty sure that your company has been providing them with a free wardrobe for the last 18 years.
10. You've considered giving yourself food poisoning to avoid that shift you swore you would cover.
11. Even if your closing shift is scheduled until 9pm, you're already well aware that you'll be there until midnight.
12. You now know that the customer is never right. But you'll never tell.
13. The feeling when you get the register ready to accept a card but they decide to pay with cash instead (so. many. buttons.).
14. You put your own items back when you're the one shopping, because you know how much it sucks to have to do.
15. And, finally, you're the nicest customer you can be, out of pure principle.
So here's to the job that gave us all flat feet and an inability see more than 7 pennies without wanting to crawl under the nearest clothing rack to die. May it continue to bring people from all generations together, forever.