It’s an age-old question: can guys and girls really be friends without developing feelings for each other?
Some say no, like musician Dave Matthews, who claims, “A guy and a girl can be just friends, but at one point or another, they will fall for each other. Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever.”
As eloquent as that sounds, I tend to disagree.
I’ve had numerous guy friends that never escaped the “friend zone.” From classmates to coworkers, there were a lot of males in my life that I never developed feelings for, or even considered going out with. These platonic relationships were free of pressure, and beneficial for both sides. We could help each other with our relationships, love lives, without any jealousy or bias. It was always fun when we were together, and it never needed to be more than that.
I’ve even had best friends who were guys that I never developed feelings for. I’ve just always gotten along with men better than I did women. Especially in high school, I would have rather played video games all day with a couple of guys than go shopping with the girls. That’s just who I was, and none of the boys I spent time with took it as meaning more.
Since I started college, I’ve met a lot of new faces that became good friends — and several of them have been boys. None of them have ever threatened my relationship with my boyfriend; they are just great friends who happen to be guys. It’s completely possible to remain friends on a platonic level for years and years, especially if both parties are in loving relationships outside of the friendship.
However, some argue that if you get too close, sooner or later, you’re bound to develop some feelings. If you’re spending hours and hours every day with someone, you might at least wonder what it would be like to be with him. But this doesn’t mean you need to act on it if you don’t want to.
If you happen to catch feelings for a guy friend, and do want to take things to the next level, then by all means, go for it! If you feel like it’s time to take the relationship a step forward, you don’t have to deny your feelings. It’s better to know than always wonder, and loving relationships between friends are some of the most rewarding and lasting. Just remember that it doesn’t have to be more than platonic if you don’t want it to.
Whether you fall for your friend or they are forever stuck in the “friend zone,” make sure you do what feels right for you and the relationship. You should never feel pressured to do one thing or another. Life is all about making yourself happy, so surround yourself with people who help you do just that — whether they’re just friends or more.
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