My Boyfriend Cheated on Me - Now What?
Pain, anger, tears, depression, low self-esteem. These are all possible results of being cheated on. It might feel like it’s the end of the world. You might feel like you will never be able to love again. You might feel like all men are the same. You might even feel like you are the world’s most undesirable individual ever. However, as true as those thoughts might feel at the moment, they are far from fact. Here are eight things you should do if your boyfriend cheated on you:
Let it out
Crying is the most natural thing you can do after being cheated on. Know that it is okay to cry. Crying is healthy. However, try not to drown in your sorrow. Give yourself a time limit for when to stop crying, because life keeps going, and you can’t let this control your life forever.
Let your boyfriend know that you need space
Your boyfriend will most likely try to convince you that he is sorry. Do not listen to him, and do not make any meaningful decisions right now. Your mind will be clouded, and you need time to reflect on what’s happened.
Talk to someone
Whether it’s a professional, family member, or friend, talking to someone after being cheated on is always beneficial. Because, it’s true, love is blinding, and you need a third-person perspective and guidance on what to do next. Also, a good shoulder to cry on never hurts.
Listen to your boyfriend’s explanation
After having time to think, cry, and talk to others, ask for an explanation. You deserve an explanation. That is the least he could do after putting you through the pain. Try as hard as possible to have an open mind to whatever it is he says. If you find yourself getting too angry, breathe. As much as you would like to, violence is never the answer. You need to keep a clear head to process the explanation, and then you can go from there.
|Related: 10 Signs You Need to Break Up|
Make a decision
You’ve heard your boyfriend’s explanation, you’ve talked to someone, you’ve let the tears and anger out; now it’s time to make a decision. After hearing your boyfriend’s explanation, give yourself more time to cry, talk, and think if necessary. What would make you more comfortable? What is your philosophy on being cheated on? Do you still trust him? Is this relationship worth fighting for? Answers to those questions will guide you make your decision.
If you decide to stay with him – let him know that what he did was not okay
Let him know that things will not immediately go back to normal. Let him know that you need some space because what he did was not okay. Full trust is hard to have after being cheated on, so let him know that he will have to earn it again.
If you decide to break up with him – surround yourself with people
Falling down a hole of emotions and negative thoughts is really easy after being cheated on. Surround yourself with loving people to lean on. Remember, you still have most of your life ahead of you, and bad relationships can help you discover what qualities you definitely don’t want in an ideal partner.
Discover your passion for something
Whether you broke up with him or not, devoting time to yourself and your passions is very empowering. It can help build self-esteem and a strong identity outside of the relationship. It’s also beneficial for filling up the time that you would have spent with him.
Being cheated on is awful, but know that you are beautiful, and you did not deserve it. You will come out of this, and you will come out strong. The world is rooting for you.