10 Things You Can’t Get Away With in a Small Town
1. If you get in any sort of trouble, your parents will know right away.
That’s what happens when your neighbors are friends with your parents and they’re friends with the neighbors down the block who go to church with the nice people two streets down with those lovely kids who go to school with you.
2. There’s no such thing as keeping a secret.
Because everyone is so close and friendly, eventually everyone will know. Keeping things to yourself is virtually impossible.
3. You can’t date someone from town.
Because if you two break up, you’ll see that person everywhere you go. There will be awkward run-in after awkward run-in. It will never stop! Oh, and chances are, somewhere down the line that person is a cousin, so...
4. You can’t go to the store in your old sweats with no makeup or bra on.
Your crush, old high school teachers, and people you’ve known since kindergarten will be there too. And seeing them outside of school is awkward enough.
5. You can’t do anything without a car.
Everything is far away. The bank, the movie theater, the nearest restaurant? None of them are within walking distance. However, if you’re fine going days without groceries and never seeing a blockbuster in the theater, then you’ll be fine.
6. Shopping is an actual field trip.
As in, you need to make a day of it. It’s 30 minutes to the nearest store, and thirty minutes back. And you better try everything on, because it will take you hours to return it if it doesn’t fit.
7. You can’t freely drive around without worrying about hitting a deer, cow, horse, pig, or any other kind of animal.
No one knows when those things are going to pop out at you. Everyone you know with a license has had a vehicle vs. wildlife incident. You’re an expert at spotting reflective eyes in the trees, and always have your foot hovering over the brake just in case.
8. You can’t go out after 10 p.m. without having to sit in an empty parking lot trying to figure out what to do.
All fun things close early. You’ll most likely drive around aimlessly before settling on going home and watching Netflix.
9. You can’t go anywhere in town without being stuck behind a tractor.
A traffic jam doesn’t happen during rush hour, it happens during farm hours. Which, by the way, are basically sun-up to sundown, so you’re intimately familiar with what the back of farm equipment looks like.
10. You can’t pretend you don’t know anyone.
Everyone knows everyone…by name. There's no such thing as an acquaintance or a “friend of a friend.”