Free Scholarships Blog

Hello everyone! I am the latest forum moderator, and the complete antitheses of Mr. Point Guard I’m happy to report. This dictatorship has now become a democracy.

Let’s breakdown some key differences between the two of us.

PG: Mr. Point Guard rides a motorcycle, as he previously revealed, but what he failed to mention is that it costs him twenty-five cents per ride. That’s right; you can find Mr. Point Guard at your local Walmart on Friday nights with a handful of quarters. Rumor has it he fell off last week. Light weight.

PP: I drive an SUV. Sure, it costs a few bucks in gasoline, but I love looking down on the world. I feel very authoritative. Some say I purchased a large SUV because I have little man’s complex, but that’s simply not true. I can totally reach the pedal all by myself.

Advantage: Professor Plastic

PG: Has a beautiful Bichon dog named Rudy. I love animals so I can’t fault him for that one, but that name conjures up images from the movie Rudy. Remember how Rudy painstakingly couldn’t get into Notre Dame? We suffered with each rejection letter year after year. Is this some kind of subliminal message you’re sending the children PG? A message of failure and torment?

PP: I have a Greyhound named Cranberry Road; a sophisticated name for a sophisticated animal. Cranberry Road is actually his program name. He raced professionally for three years in the northeast and embarrassed the competition. Wanna race Rudy?

Advantage: Professor Plastic’s Dog

So the choice is yours. You can hang out with Professor Plastic and cruise the town in luxury SUV style with his champion dog, or you can spend your Friday night riding the carousel at Walmart while being recruited by Troop 54 to help sell Girl Scout Cookies.